I heard a nasty rumor that Harold's Chicken Shack is closed due to health violations (too easy to make a pun here, so I'll just avoid it entirely). First the fire at Ribs and Bibs, then the opening of a squeeky clean, dining hall decor Checkerboard club, and of course the Starbucks near Jimmys... Now Harold's is closed? There is only one possible explanation; white people are getting ready to invade hyde park.
So, someone's suggestion that we meet up over a tub of deep fried grub is a little harder, but of course there is always jimmys. We should meet sometime, and get this stat thing taken care of. Everyone can discuss in person why they want what they want, make a case for it, etc. Us unabashed alcoholics will get smashed, then the more sober ones can take advantage of us, (ahem, I mean, let us sign off at their statistical manifesto) and we'll call it a night. We can even have a direct satelite feed to the consulate in new york, and allow them to give their input, ransom demands, etc. Besides, it would be good to start putting a face to some of these odd names. Saud? Who the fuck is that dude?
FYI Dixie Kitchen is owned by Canadians. You know, like the really really white guys from the north with red beedy eyes? They are like a sleeper cell, waiting for the assult to begin, then they'll convert it to a Cracker Barrel. Calypso Cafe? A much needed Banana Republic.
Viva la revolucion
Saud "Evo's Evol Twin" Morales