never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Virginia McCaskey

i assume this was after the nfc championship game but that photo is freaky.


The Man. The Myth. The Legend.

With Favre's future undecided, Green Bay fans might wonder how the veteran quarterback is spending his time while weighing whether or not to return for a 16th season with the Packers.

"He was power-washing the driveway when I talked to him," McCarthy told the newspaper.

The thing is, I'm usually very skeptical of these sorts of comments, but I don't really doubt this one at all.

Omar the Red

Omar, that was a beautiful video. The beginning made me so one loved that sweet bear. No one! But one hug changes everything. And the hug was free! Free love = community happiness and sunshine. Clearly, this video means that the Chicago Bears = Communism. Rex Grossman is Zinoviev.

According to my calculations, the market would value hugs from such a lovable, skipping bear at six Harold's wings. A three-piece white with extra mild if it's cloudy.

Couldn't spread the seed fast enough

some kids in the UK planned a prank and in the interim between it being done and being fixed, this was taken.

Brian Urlacher - small town boy makes good

This and the Gene Wojoelkjsijeski article about Nathan Vasher, how can the Bears NOT win?

Monday, January 29, 2007

hard ons

i just got a huge one when i learned that jack's dad is the bad guy from LA confidential. but then i lost it when i learned that grae is the head bad guy and his dad is just a patsy.

Google Analytics

Andy, you now have access to reports. If anyone else wants just tell me and if i dont have your gmail address (you need a gmail address for this) give it to me as well.

# Profile Name:
# Report Name: Executive Overview
# Date Range: 1/22/2007 - 1/28/2007

# Visits and Pageviews
Date Range Visits Pageviews
Mon 1/22 0 0
Tue 1/23 10 17
Wed 1/24 44 89
Thu 1/25 39 71
Fri 1/26 31 61
Sat 1/27 10 10
Sun 1/28 11 11

# Visits by New and Returning
Visitor Types Visits
Returning Visitor 113
New Visitor 32

# Geo Map Overlay
Country/Region/City Visits
Chicago|418675|-876744 70
Chicago|417804|-876027 31
Franklin Park|419349|-878851 22
New York|407619|-739763 9
Harvey|416088|-876739 2
Seattle|475951|-1223326 1
Cairo|300500|312500 1
Baltimore|393181|-766140 1
Dulay` Su`ud|292011|481111 1
Cincinnati|391699|-844859 1
Marlton|398506|-749099 1
Colorado Springs|388326|-1047405 1
Pedra Azul|-160168|-412668 1
Glenview|420855|-878248 1
Wayne|400548|-754083 1

# Visits by Source
Sources Visits
(direct) 105 35 1
google 1 1


I'm sitting here at my desk in Harper inocently readeding when an add pops up on the main page. Two women rock climbing and grunting and moaning. It takes me a few seconds to turn the sound off and by the time I do a number of people in the lab now think I'm sitting in here looking at porn.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

MCard, does this quote mean he won't be coming back into the draft?

From the most recent Buster Olney post

8. You mention reading good books ... what books have you read this offseason?

Teahen: I am currently reading In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote, because I saw the film Capote, and was intrigued to read the book. Prior to that the best book I read this offseason was The Blind Side, Evolution of a Game, by Michael Lewis. It gives an insight into the increased importance of the left tackle in the NFL, and offers the insight through an inner-city athlete that is given the opportunity to [pursue] a football career when he is given access to a wealthy private high school. It is an informative and intriguing story, but I do have to mention I am a bit partial to Michael Lewis writings, because I was part of the Moneyball draft class of the A's in 2002.

Baseball players can read. His analysis is a little book jacket but still, he reads books.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Oh, THAT movie

I thought you mean the Todd Solondz movie. Now that would be fucked up.

i am sort of a cold-hearted bastard

im not sure if there is a great liberatarian response to homelessness. basically if theres a bell curve of income there will be some people in mansions and some people in cardboard boxes. i guess the answer is as long as there is equality of opportunity, equality of results isn't their responsibility.

now i think people being homeless sucks. where i grew up i didnt see a single homeless person until i was 19 and he was chilling at the train station. i gave him $20 to buy a new pair of pants. it was disturbing to see a homeless person in the suburbs. i'm used to poor people but not homeless.

if you read the latimes you will read about homeless people all the time. they had a great series a few years back about skid row which was pretty scary.

but in the end, just like abortion and violence in the ghetto and drugs and all the 'ills of society' i dont give a shit. as long as im not getting aborted, shot or robbed by a crack addict, im fine. i only care about it in theory, not really in practice. ergo, cold hearted bastard.


As we used to say in elementary school, the decision to show this particular film to D.C.'s homeless is cold. If you don't want to read the story, officials in D.C. decided to try to inspire 100 of the city's homeless by treating them to a screening of Happyness. On one hand, I understand them wanting to recognize the possibility of hope and the pool of untapped talent that undoubtedly exists among the homeless. Yet I'm also struck that this is the first story on the homeless I've read in some time in a mainstream media outlet (particularly since I tend to boycott the Times) and it contains the same old formula of personal reponsibility as the way to salvation that has been the dominant pole in antipoverty debates. I would be a lot more sympathetic if city officials knew the media would pounce on a feel-good story that enshrines the good values at the heart of our non-policy toward poverty and housing, and used this opportunity to advance their radical plan to end homelessness. Instead, they, too, seem to have no plan beyond "keep trying."

I'm curious. How did the places you're all from handle their homeless? Omar, is there any free-market solution to the problem of providing adequate housing for the homeless?

Finally, if I am ever homeless (perhaps after being stricken with amnesia like that guy in Dallas) and you are going to try and uplift my spirits with a movie, you better show me The Warriors, Shaft, The Big Heat, or all four seasons of The Wire back-to-back.

Sidney Crosby-style growing pains

This blog is in a full-on slump. It has clearly has inherited traits from its grandpa, the 2006 baseball message board. We need one of our classic middle of the order run producers like Mike Cardarelli or Omar or Andy Martin or Czap or me to step in and carry us for a week or two at a time if we have any chance of finishing in the first division. You'd think the pub trivia stomping would have got some people motivated.

PS-- we better be defending our crown on Tuesday. ringer and honorary einardiaz personality Greg proposed that the only socioeconomically acceptable course of action for the rest of the quarter is to sweep (a six-peat? nontet? i can't be bothred to know what the academic week is now that i am a high-stakes venture capitalist)

anybody need a ride from cincinnati to chicago on the day of the super bowl? because i'll be makign that drive in a rental car in order to get back in time for the game.

Thursday, January 25, 2007


coming home from work today i saw a lady waiting for the train feeding her baby (<2 years old) gum. the baby was biting of pieces and swallowing it because, well, it's a baby, and it doesn't know that you can't eat gum. i guess we need to start a new series of PSA's that say DON'T FEED YOUR BABY GUM.

Who's checking this from Baltimore and Seattle?

So in addition to the page hit counter i added, i just put on something from google i never heard about (google analytics) and it shows a map where people are viewing the site. i get the new york and chicago views (although who's in Harvey, IL?) but i didnt know anyone was in Seattle and Baltimore. Maybe we are going to get some random people reading.

Its funny because its true

Bears Inspire A City Still Reeling From Great Chicago Fire Of 1871

The Onion

Bears Inspire A City Still Reeling From Great Chicago Fire Of 1871

CHICAGO—As Brian Urlacher triumphantly hoisted the George Halas Trophy Sunday, it was a symbol of more than just the Bears' 39-14 victory over New Orleans—it was a symbol of hope to the thousands of Chicagoans who are still struggling...

Bears Lead Rex Grossman To Super Bowl

The Onion

Bears Lead Rex Grossman To Super Bowl

CHICAGO—While coming up big in a 39-14 victory over the New Orleans Saints Sunday, the Chicago Bears single-handedly shouldered the burden...

The Onion

Confused Bill Simmons Picks The Departed To Win Super Bowl

LOS ANGELES—Pop-culture enthusiast and sportswriter Bill Simmons, a regular columnist for ESPN's Page 2, was evidently suffering from genre...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Trivia was glorious. Even with us showing a bit of rust, we only missed 5 questions in the first 4 rounds. Next goals:
1. Be in first every round, not just 4 or 5.
2. Break 40 points.
3. Get a perfect 48.

This is my challenge to you.

Dikembe Mutombo - Opportunity Cost

There are millions of people who go to school to become doctors but there are only a handful of people who are 22 feet tall and wag their fingers when they block a shot. in one year of nba salary, dikembe could (and maybe did) have given a scholarship to 5 people from his hometown to become doctors. the odds are that atleast one of them would become a doctor as good or better than he could have been. now, he has fulfilled his doctor quota and can use the rest of his time to make tons of money and give it back to africa.

"On August 14, 2006, Dikembe donated $15 million to the completion of the now named Biamba Marie Mutombo Hospital, named for his mother. When it opens in February 2007, the $29 million facility will become the first modern medical facility to be built in that area in nearly 40 years."

Are you telling me not playing basketball and becoming a doctor is better than making/giving 15 million dollars to build an entire fucking hosptial? Its not always about the 'benjins' but in this case he can have his cake and eat it too.

Besides all that, 'Who Wants to Sex Mutombo' would never have come to light if he had become a doctor in the Congo.

A New Course

"Anti-urbanism and Hip Hop Culture : A Survey." The new Ice Cube movie is definitely going to be on the reading list. Ice takes his family to the country, a better place to raise the kids. When one of you guys becomes a prof I want to guest teach a couple classes. I'll couple this with, "How all advertising is really about schlongs."
Dikembe Mutombo grew up in Africa, amid great poverty and disease. He came to Georgetown University on a scholarship to study medicine — but Coach John Thompson got a look at Dikembe and had a different idea. Dikembe became a star in the NBA, and a citizen of the United States. But he never forgot the land of his birth — or the duty to share his blessings with others. He has built a brand new hospital in his hometown. A friend has said of this good-hearted man: “Mutombo believes that God has given him this opportunity to do great things.” And we are proud to call this son of the Congo our fellow American.
Now, I dunno—but it strikes me that getting a scholarship to be a doctor and throwing it out to ball is kind... well... against the point of scholarships or something. Is building a hospital really the same thing as becoming a doctor and moving back among your people?

I was right

You all at the pub last night thought I was stupid and/or racist, but it WAS Dikembe Mutombo at the SOTU.
i had a dream last night that took place partially on the med school quad in hyde park. not sure what that was about. how'd pub trivia go?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Pub Science (roster is full)

Pete tells me it's safe to come out of my hiding place in my car's trunk. So a few things.

Saud, the trivia roster is already set for tonight so we will have to go without your services. Sorry. You would have undoubtedly been extremely useful on difficult geography questions about the UAE. Feel free to come hang out anyway, just know that we won't be able to solicit your help and it can get kind of boring watching people get intensely involved over the etymology of sphincter, while being able to contribute nothing to the conversation.

We must win tonight. Especially since I have already sent an email full of smack to last quarter's champion. I expect at least one perfect round out of our team. To this end: someone study the capital cities of central asia. Someone else take east/se asia. And someone do Africa. Also, they seem to be on a kick of asking questions about explorers. I would expect another one. Review your late 80s early 90s music. Eat some raw eggs. Work a side of frozen ribs for a while, preferably until your kunckles are bloody.

The Pats. That game was heartbreaking, and while I should hang it on the defense for letting the Colts score every time (it seemed), I sort of expected it since they were in the damn dome (can we ban dome stadiums. Please??). So instead, I blame Caldwell for dropping what would have been a sure first down, if not a touchdown (it would have ultimately been a touchdown, I'm sure), forcing the pats to settle for a field goal and thus allievating the pressure on Manning. Those of you so happy that NE lost will be eating your words after being subjected what will surely be the most irritiating stories about Manning's fulfillment, Dungy's long hard road, and the good, long-suffering people of Indiana. You'll be begging for more inane stories about how Brady is the greatest quarterback ever and a player off the field.

I am shocked the Bears won. You could see New Orleans storming back and the Bears had this wonderful "oh shit!" expression. But the defense came up one NO drive #3 and that sealed it. The weather definitely helped. I'm actually really happy the Bears won, and hope they crush Indianapolis. Once again, however, I predict the Bears will be crushed. The AFC is a superior conference in every way. SD, Indy, NE and Baltimore all could beat the Bears (in fact, didn't NE, with all those journeymen, stomp on them earlier in the season, even before all the Bears' injuries?) Indianapolis by 13. Grossman is going to fuck this game up for Chicago. I promise. And their running game isn't going to be nearly enough. I'll be rooting for the Bears, but I expect to be let down yet again.

Monday, January 22, 2007

prays together

so i think we have more than the maximum six dudes set to play on our trivia death squad. do we need to open Snot Boogie due already? weird problem to have. anyway, all i knows is that mike and i are the ray lewis-like veteran presence anchoring Snot Boogie Uno. we have a 3rd place trophy and the ghost of $33 to prove it.


  1. Apparently my "friend," "Rainman," was shouting the text of that poster at the game to Saints fans. Rainman is like 5'5", 140#. I figure there's Dutch courage, and now there's Chicago courage.
  2. The Patriots d looked like a bunch of amateurs, which is, I suppose, what they are. This works out best, though, since now I have more reasons to hate Peyton Manning, whom I love when he's in commercials and earning me points in fantasy. Who knows. Ben asked as the Patriots were schooling the Colts whom I'd cheer for, and I said the Bears (over the Pats), but not mourn a Bears loss. Now I want the Colts run out of the building.
  3. Personally, I suspect Belichick threw the game since he didn't want to beat the Bears in the Super Bowl, thereby starting a series of "Why can African-American coaches only make it to the big game, but not win it?" articles. Also, this Colts win will break Peyton's psyche. He is a fantasy landmine next year; I fully expect to be able to pick him up in the third round.
  4. Trivia on Tuesday sounds good. I was actually pretty fucking bad at Pub trivia—the questions are just out of my wheelhouse, as opposed to, say, Jeopardy! or Trivial Pursuit. But when called, I come.
  5. Since my return from Brazil, where checking the internet isn't hard, but it's less fun than drinking all day, I pretty much check only the following sites: Facebook, Deadspin, Daily Kos, Digby's Blog, and this blog. I've also read Simmons's work in my absence. Though I'll save the blog from the advanced nc-17 fantasies of mine involving the Sports Gal, I'll also say I'm saving you all from them on the off chance that, after the Super Bowl, Simmons reveals that he was writing her columns all along, and this clump of bits we all got crushes on is just him. He's really tipping his hand lately, esp with the donut post. Before this point got derailed by Sports Gal drool, the point remained that there really isn't much to read on the Intertubes anymore. And it also suggests that I'll be totally unprepared for the baseball draft. What happened to Liriano?

My reply (a message to you all)


It might take 30 minutes to get through. That is the slowest writing ever.

The Bears have a million times better odds of winning the Super Bowl than all but one team in the NFL. The Sex Cannon has one more shot left in him.

And the Colts defense didn't look all that stellar. If Sexy Rexy can channel the awesomeness of his 4/4 - 75yrd drive and spread that over the entire game, its going to be a cakewalk for the bears. Since thats not likely to happen, i'll take a good running game, a few tds passes and no interceptions.

I like how the Bears can do no good. They beat the 'best' team in the NFC by a quarter of a hundred points and are still getting 7. Rex feeds on criticism; hes not bright enough to realize hes not a good quarterback and sometimes actually plays well. Stay ignorant for two more weeks Rex, thats all i ask of you.

A message for you, Omar


Although specifically for Omar, we have not secrets here. Anyone else is feel to take a peek.

got to give the people what they want

Anybody besides the CZA and I ready for Pub trivia tomorrow night? Otherwise we'll have to get starsky and hutch by ourselves again (moacir, i am thinking of you here).

Rex Grossman: doing what Erik Kramer, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Miller, Shane Matthews, Kyle Orton, Craig Krenzel, Cade McNown, Chad Hutchinson, Kordell Stewart, Chris Chandler, Henry Burris, Moses Moreno, Jonathan Quinn and Jeff Blake couldn't. by the way, that is the saddest list of quarterbacks ever. no wonder the bears had a hard time for the past 20 yrs. rex grossman might actually be the best name on that list. weird.

that sign is probably going to result in the Bears team bus getting six flat tires and the super bowl being cancelled by terrorism.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Bears Win, Bears Win

Expect more on this in the coming weeks

Fuck New Orleans, really, what did they do? Just because God doesnt love them doesnt mean they should go to the superbowl.

Update: Pats blow. Well not really but i can't tell you how happy i am that they lost. And the Colts covered so my double-or-nothing $40 bet from last week is over. Great game for all.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Google Hate?

Moacir, Cardarelli: Do you guys hate google and gmail so much that you refuse to sign up for an account so that you can post on this blog? Or do you just hate this blog that much?

Since Cardarelli has been incommunicado let me make this plea: DON'T LET HIM WIN THIS YEAR. You have no idea how bad it's going to be if he manages to win three years in a row. For the good of the community please do what you can to prevent him from winning. This includes no one sided trades, no dropping good players for him to pick up and possibly slashing Jose Reyes' Achilles tendon in mid-June.

God speed.

We have a date!

Thank you, my negligent children, but it appears that we have a draft date. Fantasy Baseball Draft 2007: March 24th. Time and place to be determined later.

Next year, let's go to Montreal.

Remember, work on your trophies! If I'm the only one that shows up with trophies to give to people you're all going to find out the real meaning of having a Jewish mother.

Friday, January 19, 2007


So I have decided, despite needing to do some more reading, to invest my fully in draft preparations, in honor of our impending agreement on a draft date.

My understanding of the ground rules for this year.

1) Same stat categories as last year
2) Seven (7) keepers.
3) Unweighted lottery for draft order.
4) Keepers from 2006 that we roll over at the end of this season must be kept with a 1st round pick for draft 2008 (can I say that I get moist when I realize we have already committed to this league for next year?)
5) Andy to finish 5th (this should not be confused with my preseason picks, which will be revealed on draft day, before any player has been drafted).
6) Omar may draft one Chicago Bear, except Rex Grossman. This player may:
a) be kept in one of his DL slots, provided he is never dropped.
b) start at any position, provided he is never benched. He will be credited with totals across categories equivalent to Grossman's rating against the Saints x .5
6) Cubs Suck will no longer be allowed as a team name. Names celebrating Liriano's injury will, however, be encouraged. Ditto for homoerotic fantasies involving various players banging you.
7) A-Rod, Roger Clemens, and Barry Bonds will be dropped from the list of eligible players.
8) I must draft Alvin Davis with my 12th pick.

I am open to changing the stat categories, but I want to know that we are going to do this before I invest much thought in my team.

who didn't answer bens email

i remember reading 8 of 10. i think carter is one and he already said he could but wasn't a fan of flying out twice in two weeks but i dont recall the other missing name.

i just want to change the 'tentative' in my calendar to 'out of the office'.

Chandler's Been Holding Out

Are you moonlighting on us, Commissioner?

welcome to ohio

indians just locked down trot nixon to a one-year 3m deal. respect the fact that your 2007 indians now have SEVEN OUTFIELDERS. sizemore, michaels, dellucci, blake, sin soo choo, f. gutierrez and c. trotman nixon. that's a three-man platoon in BOTH CORNERS!

I'd rather do this

Who wants in?

Fantasy Movie Moguls

The Future of Fantasy Sports(?)

Thursday, January 18, 2007

thank you pioneer press

Michael Cuddyer recently returned home to Virginia after his wedding in Jamaica. The exchange of vows, in front of 150 family members and friends in a beautiful tropical setting, marked a perfect end to an almost perfect year for Cuddyer.


"LeCroy was in the wedding," Cuddyer said of former Twins teammate Matt LeCroy. "You know how he sweats. My wedding pictures are awful."

Wow, Indiana really sucks

I'm not sure but I think that this might be one of the deleted scenes from the Widdowmaker.

I have a feeling i know how this will go

Bears vs. Saints
Bears minus 2.5
Saints plus 2.5 free polls

Sneaky Ron Mexicans

He couldn't even read the TSA, how can he be expected to read the defense?

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


any weekend is fine for me. i'd prefer a saturday draft time to a friday, just because i wouldn't want the draft hanging on the status of my perpetually delayed flights. but, like i said, i'll make it happen. early draft is not such a big deal, really. we had an early draft last year, and no one got jobbed. in fact, it was almost better. i get too impatient come march.


What date works BEST for me?
March 9th
March 10th
March 23rd
March 24th
Free polls from

Let's Dance

When Can You Draft?
March 9th
March 10th
March 23rd
March 24th
I don't really want to be in this league anymore.
Free polls from

Two men enter...

...and TWO men leave, walking tall -- after bitchslapping everyone in the room, urinating on the bar, and putting a zippermask on Masterblaster the Thunderdome that is Pub Trivia. To quote The Roots:

On these seventy-three keys, of ivory and ebony
I swear solemnly that I'll forever rock steadily
People wanna know where Pete B? He right next to me
The weaponry, the secret recipe

108 or so people playing tonight, $324 pot. Pete and I on the mound for team Snot Boogie.
Round 1: 3rd place.
Round 2: 3rd place.
Round 3: 2nd place.
Round 4: BLAAUWW! 1st place with a 2-point lead thanks to a 7/8 performance that stunned the judges, forcing them to point out our dominance to the room.
Round 5 (two point bonus round): Disaster. Tied for 2nd, as we were passed by last quarter's 6-man boat champion. My fault as I dicked an answer by one letter, and was too strong in my faulty logic of Denmark over Norway. $33 the consolation prize.

To be honest, we did get three assists from Tisa, Ashley, and Greg. But in spite of this, we were shaking with funny-car trivia power. If we add Moacir, I think we can declare "game over" for the rest of the quarter and accumulate some cash. I don' even want to think about what happens if we add Bench and Card. I have already sent an honorable message of smack to tonight's winning team, warning them that this was their last win.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Draft Day Vol. XII

Okay, it looks like the weekend of the 31st is out. Quoting Moacir,

The ENTIRE weekend of palm sunday (mar 31) is OUT OF THE QUESTION. There is nothing I can do. When I won't be watching my brother get married, I will be at (fricken) disneyland with my sisters whom I haven't seen in like 4 years. From Ben's (private) email to me, it sounded like that was the weekend America still loved, but it's not like I can duck out early or something.

Carter, Andy, it's on your shoulders now. Let's make this happen. If not March 24th what about March 10th?

Monday, January 15, 2007

NFL Playoffs as The Wire

I like this idea, Ben, but I would assign different characters. Keep in mind I have not seen Season 4 yet, so I'm ruling it out (and no spoilers, bitches).

Patriots: The Greek, or Omar (surely an unpopular choice, given the world's love for Omar and hatred for the Pats. But think about it. Freamon would work too)
Colts: Tommy Carcetti (or White Mike)
Saints: Marlo
Bears: Bubbles
Chargers: Stringer Bell
Ravens: Rawls (or Cutty)
Eagles: Bunny Colvin
Seahawks: Carver
Jets: DeAngelo Barksdale
Chiefs: Ziggy
Giants: McNulty (or Johnny)
Cowboys: Herc

Happy MLK Jr. Day

I'm pretty sure that America has been brainwashed by Bill Simons to somehow think that Boston sports teams aren't the enemy. I am so fucking sick of the Pats but after witnessing a Colts game in person this season there is no way I can cheer them on either.

Pats: Stringer Bell
Colts: Avon Barksdale
Saints: Jimmy McNulty
Bears: Bubs

I don't care if I have to put up with two weeks of Katrina/Saints hype, it might help defuse the Belichek/Genius hype.

masked vigilantes

anybody else about ready to vomit in re having to watch the Patriots' Abu Ghraib offense again? similarities between Jack Bauer and Tom Brady increasing... for the purposes of this analogy i guess LaDainian Tomlinson will have to figuratively stand in for the threat of the new Chinese Superpower. The NFL clearly is pulling strings to encourage a saints-pats post-katrina emotional porn-themed super bowl. Maybe Bush can ride a harley into the superdome and personally gun down a commemorative black "looter." OK, no more fake Daily Kos posts. I just really don't want to watch the Pats anymore. Seems unfair to think that we might have to listen to as much as 3 more weeks of hype about the same Patriots team that seems to have been brainwashed to be bland. Go bears is all I can say at this point, despite my Drew Brees allegiances.

Did we figure anything out about the draft? i'm with whet in re nothing planned firmly yet between feb 2 and next thanksgiving.


I don't need them. So please, Omar, no more penis talk from you. Pete, Whet, MCard, and Mo will always have this privilege, but no one else.

Also, the Bears are going to get lit up by New Orleans. Mark it, Nuncle. Saints by 10.
I thought Grossman was astoundingly bad, and I was rooting for him. I was really happy for Gould, though.

If the Bears somehow manage to triumph over the Aints, they will be easy pickings for the Pats or Indy. Well, let's be honest, it's going to be the Pats. NO would pose more matchup problems for NE. So I'll keep rooting for the Bears.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

My E-Rex-ion

currently at semi. the bears won the game, and grossman played fine but it was way way closer than i would have liked. if the bears could only bearly (hah) beat the lowly seahawks, then i'm worried they wont be able to keep it up, so to speak.

when is this draft shit going to be decided? im going to london at some point and i want to know if i should go before the start of season or during.

Friday, January 12, 2007


Any time for the draft is fine. The only commitment I have between now and Thanksgiving is my birthday in July.

Baseball Lunch?

Anyone down for baseball lunch at the venerable GSB dining hall around 1pm? Lets all talk shit about Omar behind his back. Interested, drop me a line at ssalzaid (at) gmail.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


The final rosters can be found here and the draft results from last season can be found here.

If there are any mistakes feel free to change them but let us all know.

Last year's rosters

Would someone please post a link to last year's roster info? I need to start making some decisions about the upcoming season. It still feels a bit too early, especially as I try to work some hockey magic, but I want to at least decide on whether or not Ben will get his Christmas wish. I'm so happy Liriano is down this season. This makes things so much more interesting.

Also, I'd like to second Mike's question: are we going with the same stat set this year?

Waiting by the phone

Have you guys ever seen Jarhead? Waiting on this message board is just like that.

Moacir, if you don't get back on the internet soon I'm going to fly to Brazil and point a rifle in your face.

Welcome to the suck.

On Moacir

And also Whet.

Moacir is still in Brazil so we can give him a few more days. Whet, what are your plans?

Quoting Cardarelli, "We don't want someone else to draft for Moacir so that he then spends the rest of the season bitching about his team," you know, more so.

Moacir, for the love of god get to the internet and let us know of your plans.


Have we decided on the draft date?

Also, I'm catching up on the wire. my god. The first season was the best television I ever watched. I thought the second season slipped a bit - there were more loose plot elements that didn't go anywhere. But still. In sum, I can't wait to be a defense attorney for west Chicago drug dealers.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Monday, January 08, 2007

polar night of icy darkness

"Collect the pencils immediately after the exam each day. Store them when the exam is over so that they are available for the math exam in March."

thanks for taking the test, kids. oh, and we're gonna need that pencil back. turns out you only get one this year.

fbb names, 2007?

bride of christ aluminum works, right here.

maps of the US drawn by teenagers. i think it's intersting that every single one of these has some representation of florida, but texas and the entirety of new england are optional, depending on who you're talking to. also that the us kind of apparently looks like a dinosaur if you play your cards right. this is snatched from this sweet book of irregular/imaginary maps that evelyn found called you are here. bench, your pretty much need to amazon this shit right now. kind of fascinating. and if anyone else on the blog feels cheated because you never took a class with conzen, this book plus some old railroad maps would pretty much put you in business.

okay okay okay, one more. 1) you can't really see this. sorry. 2) jokes in the year 1939 presumed a greater degree of geographic literacy than even serious journalism does today 3) the detail in this map puts that one that got drawn sometime after 9/11 (with manhattan drawn really big, california and the "flyover states") to shame - nebraska is listed as a city in illinois and pittsburgh is in ohio (actually, i could get behind pittsburgh being in ohio). can anyone help me track down that flyover state map? i tried to google it but all i could find was that saul steinberg cover. also, czap, one could write a whole article about subsequent interpretations of that view from 9th avenue cover. ex:

these are funny, i imagine. mcard? moacir?

mostly, can i REALLY get behind the blog strange maps. especially weird redistributions of the us. ben? i like it.


First the Miami port thing and now the partial closings in NY and Austin make me wonder if something is afoot. That is, our government seems especially jittery. Yet the wonks would probably want to avoid any new orange alerts since they don't really want to draw yet more attention to Bin Laden's continuing "freedom" in the middle of discussions about expanding our forces in Iraq. Maybe it's simply random, but something feels creepy.

Lies. Damn Lies

From this idiotic piece in ESPN today about Chicago and San Diego:

"Stadium information: Soldier Field is located three miles south of downtown Chicago at 1410 S. Museum Campus Drive. Best bet: hail a cab; rapid transit is not convenient."

While misleading (Soldier Field has to be one of the most accessible stadiums to mass transit in the entire NFL. If not THE most accessible), this is also just NOT TRUE. It's .65 miles from the Red Line and less than 1.5 miles from the center of the loop. 3 miles gets you all the way to Rush Street and the Viagra Triangle, which I guess is the new measure of "downtown." Take that, Michael Conzen.

Sunday, January 07, 2007


The USC kicker was found at the bottom of a cliff. I didn't see the game. Did he miss any kicks? Or not miss any kicks? Someone ought to check what the spread was, along with any large betting transactions.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

what exactly are mo's needs?

I can be in Chicago as early as late night on thursday march 29, probably. i could certainly be there on friday the 30th. i will be in chicago-milwaukee until april 3, but i can't do anything the second. does this help?

Also, are we having a stats discussion? or are last season's stats set in stone?

Dad on PBS

"...but the problem with PBS is they also play that music shit a lot. They'll bring in two douchebags from Ireland and let them yowl for two fucking hours 'til it's unwatchable..."

I don't think I've ever read anything as astute in Voices.

Also, Rob Zombie and his wife were at the Wolfpack game at the Hartford Civic center. This seems a fitting celebrity sighting in Hartford. They got hooked up with seats right behind the goal. Said wife was in the concession line next to me. I thought she was sort of busted, in a snake-like way.

Get Mo a GM (I'll be glad to do it, if no one else wants the responsibility) and let's go the 31st.

Ben: I will not turn my thoughts to baseball trades etc until I am back in Chicago.

Friday, January 05, 2007

practice of bronx life, vol 1

carter, i will go halvsies (sp?) on your ticket to chicago, with the proviso that i get a 1.5x return on my investment from any potential fantasy-sports related gambling earnings in the next calendar year. this is contingent on us actually getting our gambling house in order this year, of course. czap, i hope you have been saving your change for the past year, cause you're going to be on the hook for at least $75 come march. with the amount of time i spend thinking about my team every year, there NEEDS to be some money on this. also, i plan on winning this year.

critical commentary:
1. quarter water group has a grownup cousin laced with rotgut.
2. curiously absent was the quarter water w/ 3 bags of quarter chips combo special. the tremont avenue breakfast of champions.
3. guys named casimir still live in the bronx?! and, where?


I'm sorry that I advocated for the movement of this blog. It has seemed to stop a few people from posting. Do you guys really not want to create google accounts or do you just not like the way this is all going?

Someone deliver us from evil. When can we have this draft? Moacir, when do you fly out to CA for the wedding? Could we have it on Thursday or Friday before hand?

I'm going to leave this up to Carter and Moacir since they (always) seem to be the lynch pins in this. Perhaps one of you (Moacir) will need to hire a GM to draft for you.

I'm not going to be able to make it through the winter if we don't have a baseball draft.

I knew this was too easy

So, to recap:

Carter can ONLY be in Chicago on March 31st. Moacir can only NOT be in Chicago on the 31st.

Do we have other options? Or is this league dead?


is the best excuse we have heard yet. mo, is sunday bad too? the 1st of april?

mcart, you still going to be in the midwest on sunday?

moacir, why cant you post again?

Thursday, January 04, 2007


Now I wait in my bunker for reprisals. So, is 31st of March out? Moacir is really siding with family over his fantasy league?

Heard at the dinner table

Around 7:45 tonight.

"You know, that Nancy Pelosi ain't too bad. She's fucking 66? She still looks pretty good and she's got a big rack..."
I don't remember what I silenced him with. Gotta love unreconstructed fathers.

Ben, the signing of Ponson has raised the price for Santana. Just on principle. Good thing the Twins don't have a farm team in Alabama.


at first, i wanted to die when i saw sidney ponson's picture and imagined him wearing a twins uniform (a really big twins uniform.) but check the contract details: "Ponson, 30, will make $1 million if he makes the team and could earn another $2 million in incentives."

so essentially we've made a $600,000 wager that sidney ponson might still be good. he's probably not, but if he cobbles together a winning record and an era under 4, that's going to be the biggest bargain of the offseason HANDS DOWN. remember that gary matthews jr and his career .263 batting average costs 10 million a year now.

who remembers that juan gonzalez contract?

"The Tigers have gotten lucky along the way, beginning with Juan Gonzalez, who must have been anesthetized when he turned down Detroit's eight-year, $148-million package in 2000. We've gone over this before, but it bears repeating:

Had Gonzalez put pen to paper on that loony-tune contract, the Tigers would YET be paying him $18.5 million per year through 2008. Uh, one more thing: Gonzalez played in all of 186 big league games after the 2001 season and has been out of the majors since 2005."

can someone compile a list of these kinds of contracts? mike hampton, we hardly knew ye?


Anyone need to fly to from New York to Chicago? It'll only cost you $40. Andy, you could just stop in for the afternoon.

Children of Men

Holy shit, stop what you are doing and go see this movie (it almost made me forget about Ponson).

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

impossible is nothing

so im probably the last person to see this but in addition to the original

there is the michael cera version

which is somehow not as funny as the serious one.

friends dont let friends post video resumes with tennis scenes.

middle schools

synopsis: all 11-14 year olds in this country are out of control, even (especially?) rich kids.

1900-1931: if you got to go to school, you sat in a class with 60 other immigrants. as far as the school was concerned, you weren't that much different from the other irish (or italian, or polish, etc) kid down the block, so if you didn't want to be there, they were happy to give your half of a seat to someone else.

1932-1944: when you weren't at school, you were collecting tin or growing tomatoes in the backyard. your teacher graded you on your penmanship well into semi-adulthood.

1945-1968: you were wearing a uniform and you weant to church every sunday. your dad beat your ass even in the absence of a good reason for doing so. acting mildly moody and disaffected was enough make you a serious iconoclast.

1968-1996: you were aware that the adults in your life ultimately had nothing on you, but you kept it to a minimum because the lurking threat of parental violence still held water for your generation.

1996-present: anarchy, backed up by lawsuits from your self-righteous parents.

i'm with ben - the new avante-garde is civility. you live in a society. tell me when we can get this started.


as usually happens with the blog, consensus was reached during my daily 6a-7pm period of radio silence. i'm on board for march 31st, but you are all put on warning not to try any bullshit. no dog walking. no 'calling in your picks' because you can't make it to crerar. try your religious holidays on someone else, because i do not recognize them. it will be good to get this settled so that carter and i can publish our farmer's almanack for 2007. here's to year 3 of somehow having jimmy rollins on my team.

here is a hockey goal:

the sabbath

i am free on saturday may 31st.


the shit is moved over to the new blogger google thing. everyone enjoy or be disgusted by this as appropriate. i will join the grand bloviations to follow in earnest once i get out of new gomorrah tomorrow night and return to chicago. bench and moacir: remember, we're getting lunch on thursday.

March 31st, Going Once...

What do people think?

So far I count Carter, Czaplicki, Omar, Pete and myself as "YES." I'm going to provisionally assume that Cardarelli can come as well. That's 6. Carter, do you have specific obligations that weekend or can we do this on Saturday afternoon like sane people?

Andy: Could you come here and then go elsewhere for Spring Break?

Moacir: Is that weekend one of the 87 Lithuanian holidays?

Saud: Will you be in the country?

Whet: Can you hear me?

New Blogger

Omar (or Pete) since you're the owner of this site can you transfer it over to the new Blogger interface? Thanks.


i have a strong preference for march 31st. it coincides with break and passover, i.e. i will be coming to chicago-milwaukee on that weekend whether we have the draft then or not. i don't really want to have to book flights on back to back weekends...

Please Post

I know that some of you have "jobs" that prevent you from posting all the time, but I have nothing going on right now (although I do get paid for this) and I need this blog. Don't shut me out.

Baseball season cannot come soon enough.


Sent to me by my uncle with the message: "How Tough is an M-1 Tank?"

Two thoughts.

a) Did anyone else think that they were listening to the Hamburgler as the bomber/observer muttered away? I now wonder if perhaps all those Saturday morning McDonald's commercials weren't incredibly meaningful and dramatic. Mayor McCheese was the neo-conservative figurehead leader of an imperial state and the Hamburglar was a soldier in the resistance.

b) My uncle keeps sending me videos like this one (did I ever post the link of the would-be car bomber some bomb disposal techs dispatched with a robot?) and on the sites I'm able to browse around, there are hundreds of them and the commentary can get pretty spooky. Michael Moore touched on this phenomenon a little, when he showed the guy blasting MP3s over his tank's comm channel and then blended that into the soundtrack. The aesthetic is lifted straight out of these sorts of websites and popular military culture (my buddy, who lost his leg in Africa, showed me a movie his helicopter squadron put together and it featured a metal soundtrack as it featured a lot of short jumpcuts of their units and of the helicopters flying). A lot of it ends up like technological pornography and oddly confessional, real world/myspace style, especially when I think of it in comparison to how my grandfather (and other vets) talked about WWII and the style of the letters they sent home.

If I was more ambitious, and we know I'm obviously not, and not needing to do a lot on my diss, I would write this up and fire it off to some journal. We have smart people on this list, especially when it comes to thinking about cultural production. Someone ought to surf around a bit and then analyze this milieu. Or co-analyze it with me if feeling similarly lazy. Maybe we ought to bring back the Detractor and have a theme issue on military culture. I feel the time is ripe and no one is doing anything on this in a sustained fashion. Some topics: the form of front line, personal reporting; these movies; stateside base culture (the stories I heard about 19 year old soldiers spending their small monthly allowances on rims and other accessories for their cars so they could cruise the strip in Pensacola were kind of fucked up); and so on. I may have posted some call to this effect before, so apologies if I did. But the point still stands. This ought to be written up critically -- its politics, historical parallels, and aesthetic values.

This has nothing to do with baseball, obviously. I like baseball. There, now the post belongs.


works for me.

the dog is old enough to take care of herself now. no more canine based excuses for me.

so does the 31st btw.

mar 24th/jan 2nd/etc

march 24th (in addition to pretty much every other time mentioned) works for me right now. that's four guys; once we can get the typically less attentive guys (we all know the guys i am referring to) to commit (which we might want to do over e-mail, since i know that at least one of the people i am referring to does not check this blog very often or ever), everything should be all set.

i am in NYC until tomorrow (the 3rd) afternoon. i am trapped in ben adams' apartment owing to some kind of mixup involving house keys. on the plus side i'm watching batman begins for the fourth time in a week. the Boise St-Oklahoma game had the best ending of any college football game i've ever seen; if it had been closer during regulation it would probably supplant the OSU-Miami national title game from three years ago, despite not having the same stakes. the dude proposing to his girlfriend in the end zone is really over the top.

march 24th

as always, if there is a BIG problem one way or the other, i can make do, but the first weekend (the 24th) works for me. next weekend is part of our spring break, and as much as i like chicago i may also want to visit some place else. so, 24th. let's lock this down. czap is in, bench is in, that's 3.

also, remember that minnesota kid who flipped out during the 2005 frozen four?:

he just got himself kicked off the team. unclear why but pretty much every article that talks about his meltdown mentions 'religious symbolism.',13346/TylerHirschDismissedFromMinnesotaGopherTeam.html

Monday, January 01, 2007

draft dates

I will be out of the state March 3rd and out of the country March 12th until the 19th. Any other days are fine for me.

Andy, Carter: Since you're coming from out of town what works for you?

I too would like to have a date locked down and soon. That way, volleyball tournaments and dog walking engagements won't be problems.

Gentlemen, check your calendars.

Dusting off the Keyboard; and NY

I can't believe I remembered my username and password for this thing.

Who is going to be in NY the night of Jan 2? How about the next few days?


lets get this over and settled as soon as possible.

i assume the season starts april 1st-3rd so we should try and draft as close to that as possible.

the two saturday's before that are the 24th and 31st of march.

lets choose the best of those two dates and maybe sunday if saturday is a bad day for people.

if you can't make both dates, you better have a great excuse.